Allow me to quote an email that landed in my inbox today. I have mixed feelings about it. One one hand it is so true that it is funny, on the other I can see why it might offend some people. Judge for yourself.
You know you’re a nurse when..
1) the front of your scrubs reads ‘Nurses… here to
save your ass, not kiss it!’
2) you occasionally park in the space with the
‘physicians only’ sign… and knock it over.
3) you believe some patients are alive only because it’s
illegal to kill them.
4) you recognize that you can’t cure stupid.
5) you own at least three pens with the names of
prescription medications on them.
6) you believe there’s a special place in hell for the
inventor of the call light.
7) you believe that saying ‘it can’t get any worse’
causes it to get worse just to show you it can.
you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom. 9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work
in your pajamas is a cool one.
10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is
perfectly natural.
12) you’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you
consider it a form of birth control.
13) you’ve heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow
ring, and twelve earrings say ‘I’m afraid of shots.’
14) you’ve placed a bet
on someone’s blood alcohol level.
15) you’ve told a confused patient that your name is that
of a coworker and to call if they need help.
16) your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago’s
water tank.
17) you have seen more penises than any prostitute could
dream of.
18) you believe that not all patients are annoying…
some are unconscious.
19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical
sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time
correcting everyone and pointing out upside down
x-rays.
20) you don’t get excited about blood, unless it’s your
own.
21) you’ve sworn to have ‘do not resuscitate’ tattooed on
your chest. Soon.
22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal
is perfectly normal to you.
23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down
to eat.
24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift
change.
25) you believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.
26) you believe that ’shallow gene pool’ should be a
recognized diagnosis.
27) you believe that the government should require
permits to reproduce.
28) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone
who utters the phrase ‘Wow, it’s really quiet, isn’t it?
29) you wanted to write a book entitled
‘Suicide: getting it right the first time.’
30) you had a patient look you straight in the
eye and say ‘I have no idea how that got stuck in there.’
31) you’ve had to leave a patient’s room before
you begin to laugh uncontrollably. Absolutely true!!
I grew up with a mom who was an ER nurse, and now I am the manager of a telephone answering service that services hundreds of physicians. I can identify with all of the above (except that fortunately, we can’t see penises over the phone).
Being a nurse is one of the toughest jobs there is, and it has been obvious to me for many years that you simply can’t be good at it without a sense of humor.
I think this list is hilarious!
I am not a nurse, just a total admirer. Soooo true. Janet, you just made my day. I like your weed picture, too.
it’s been my experience that the patient w/ the most tatoos is the one who will whine loudest about getting a shot. my comeback….”how many tatoos do you have? stop whining.” and since i’m old they usually laugh and say “but that’s different.”
thanks for the chuckles.
I so think that 31 is my favorive,,,, however I have to add laugh and vomit at the same time!!!!!!!!
Not offended in the least (is that bad?) and find it amusing and most likely true.
Amazing how similar these are to the ones we use in law enforcement! Especially “Suicide: Get it Right the First Time!” PS we also campaign for diazepam to be added to the municipal water supply – especially during major sports events.
OMG yes, I do wash my hands BEFORE going to the bathroom.
so funny but so true! thanks for posting!
Yep! I can identify with all of these and I’m still a student. (work as a tech on a busy med/surg floor) I have to agree with Warrior Knitter and say I wasn’t the least bit offended either but that’s probably because I’m in healthcare. I have a great (I wanna be a) DNR video/song to the tune of (I wanna be a)Rock Star. Let me know if you want it and I’ll send you the link. Although….I’m sure there are numerous people who would be offended by it as well.
)
You better be at the c house…… I’m bored without you here!!!!!! Katie is gone hahahaha
It’s always good to find like-minded people. Thanx and I’m going to add you to my RSS feed.